Most of us have heard this advice when you’re first engaged.

Determine your budget and who is contributing financially.
Decide how many guests you want to invite.
Figure out the style of your wedding.
Choose your venue.

But what if I had another approach for you to consider? PURPOSE.

Yes, it’s obvious that the purpose of a wedding is to celebrate the union and love of two people who want to commit their lives to one another, but that’s the obvious purpose. What if you went deeper?

Let me tell you a story.

In 2018, my brother got engaged to one of my dear friends. He’s a multi-business owner and a visionary, so he was convinced that since he makes decisions all the time this would be easy. They wanted a short engagement (four months to be exact), but he quickly learned that it wasn’t as easy to make decisions as he thought it would be.

We had a brief conversation and I suggested that they both sit down and determine what they’re greater purpose for the wedding was.

Priya Parker says in The Art of Gathering that “a good gathering purpose should also be disputable.”

An example she gives is:

“If you commit to a purpose of your wedding as a ceremonial repayment of your parents for all they have done for you as you set off to build your own family, that is disputable, and it will immediately help you make choices. That one remaining seat will go to your parents’ long-lost friend, not your estranged college buddy.”

My brother and his fiancé decided that they wanted to invite those who had walked closely with them through their single years and their dating season. And they wanted to have as much time as possible with the people they chose to invite since this would likely be the only time in their lives that each of them would all be in one room.

Here are some decisions their purpose helped them make:

First Look & Wedding Party photos before the ceremony - To have as little photos left to take between the ceremony and cocktail hour
Cocktail style reception – More time to mingle and socialize with guests
No head table or sweetheart table – Instead they had a lounge area for the wedding party
Limited speeches and short in length – Most of the speeches were done at the rehearsal dinner
Lots of time on the dance floor – Including two hired salsa dancers to teach the guests some moves and always keep the dance floor hopping

Three years later and many of their guests still say that their wedding was the best one they’ve ever attended!

With so many limitations that couples have been facing over this past year, knowing your purpose is that much more valuable in order to make the tough decisions and quickly if needed.

“Why?” is a great question to ask, for anything related to planning a gathering.

If you’re thinking you want to postpone until all the restrictions have lifted and your allowed to invite as many guests as you want and get sweaty on the dance floor together, ask yourselves “Why does this matter?”

“Keep asking why until you hit a belief or value.” {The Art of Gathering by Priya Parker}

We hope this helps! And if you find yourself needing some assistance, we have several different types of services that we offer including consulting sessions. You can learn more here.

Much Love,

Ashley-Dawn